Change,

alright, so he tells me i changed. let's just call him "HE." so yeah, outta nowhere he turns to me & says "Yuochanged!" i'm shocke having it come from outta tha blue & i say, "ohkkaaay?
" in my head, its jumbled. i dont know where this is all coming from & frankly, i dont think i did. i ignore him because it doesnt feel tha same way around him. lemme dialouge this for you. it might not be tha right words but same concept.
then he texts me, "i'm sorry i said anything"
i go, "do you think i did?"
"yeah, you kinda did."
"is it bad kine"
"yeah."
"how did i change?"
"i d k. hard to explain. "
"ohk. do you still accept me"
"yeah, i'll always accept you. no worries"
in my head im thinking...LIE!


so i dont go around him & he notices it its bugs me & i wanna kno how i changed so i ask him
he said, "hm, lemme think."
"ohk"
"your more plastic. more materialistic. more exclusive. the kelly i knew before isnt the kelly i see now. i missed tha one that would come to me when shes crying & had problems"

THIS led to THAT..... & i just said, "ohk"

in my head, im fustrated throwing tantrums. & i say in my head what i really want to say & its this. "well, you changed too because you broke out first! i used to hang out with you but what happened!? you started hanging out with your other friends. i didnt say anything because what am i supposed to do stop you!?! well, just because i started hanging out with other people doesnt mean im exclusive. its cause they understand me better than anyone ever could."

i start crying for God knows why!
& he started comforting me telling me that he still accepts me. like its tha truth!

so days pass & its tension around him
he texts me, "hi kelly"
"hi"
"i can tell your mad at me but i dont get why because you wanted me to tell you."
"i know. its just i dont feel accepted around you anymore"
"i accept you. its me that doesnt feel accepted around you. your exclusive now."
"by exclusive do you mean ____ & ____?"
"yeah, i mean them"
"well, the only reason i hang out with them is because they actually understand things that you couldn't really get. that no one could ever get. they're in situations like me. & when i hung out with other people they never got me so i felt out but i dont say anything because it may be just a feeling. i'm happy now"
"ohk, whatever"
"look, i dont wanna fight with you. i'll try"
(i have no idea what i'd be "trying" for. try as in try change back)
"no need try"
"what do you want me to do then?"
"bye."

yup, thas what i get. i get a bye! like wtf! no make sense that sht. when he said bye he just said bye to a friendship that coulda grown!

so, i don let this bug me & i move on...
ONE OR TWO DAYS PASS...

"hey kelly"
"hey _____"
"i can tell your mad or something. "
"im not mad ____. i just dont feel tha same around you."
"wheres tha one that used to come to me with problems"
"thas the thing ____. there isnt any problems with me. nothing to cry about. im happy."
in my head,...WHY CANT YOU ACCEPT THAT!?
"so are you saying that the world is perfect ?"
like wtf! that wasnt even what i was thinking! wth. so messed up that!
"no _____! its not even like that"
"ohk ohk!"

FROM TIME TO TIME HE SAYS HI TO ME & I SAY HI BACK. & WHEN IM WITH HIM I GOTTA MAKE SURE THAT I WATCH WHO I AM BECAUSE APPARENTLY I DONT FIT IN HIS CROWD ANYMORE! IF YOU DIDNT GET IT SORRRY. I TRIED MY BEST TO EXPLAIN WITHOUT BITCHING! HA, WELL, THAS WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS! THIS BOY! DAAAAAAAANG! LIKE A PACKAGE OF DRAMA!